Here Are Our Top Ten Reasons Why David Letterman Should Go:

  10. Too busy starring in”Grumpy Old Men 3-The Bitter Years”

   9. Didn’t take it well when Bruce Willis told him he was never going to make “Sexiest Man Alive”

   8. Thinks “Cheap Shots” are what he chugs before the show

   7. When told by CBS to apologize to”save his bacon”, he said “I’ll have the link sausage”

   6. Listed Paul Schaeffer’s job title as “Stupid Pet Tricks”

   5. Failed to qualify for Celebrity Jeopardy

   4. Thinks “Senile” is former Egyptian President Anwar Sadat’s autobiography

   3. Keeps hearing Johnny Carson’s voice saying,” You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting”

   2. Beat out Joe Biden for “World’s Most Dangerous Mouth”

   And the #1 Reason that Letterman should go is:

   He Can See The End Of His Career From His Doorstep !!!